kneeling by her

 from st kilda to kings cross

Muslim: from a personal name based on Arabic jaʿfar ' spring, source, rivulet '.

 1 thousand dollars?

 gentle isolation 

 sit back and take care of the show.

 while i sit back and think about writing suicide notes again or live in 0 fear of repetition of hell / heaven 0 fear? while i sit back and think about writing suicide notes again while i wait for the belief ill die anyway so what is there to fear? repeat solace rape

 to be reminded of the worst killers in your life

 my never ending fairy tale of disbelief irl

 the real reason why music is the drug

 the old woman with dementia nooo pray thee  tortured souls need to find scrip of playing caliban in shaksphere who maybe saved me or i sentenced his spirit part of me only my defence and remind me of the religion i created prince of darkness when i was a kid prince of the night gassing me out in my bedroom while i listen to abc classic fm 

 WHEN ...... WAS THERE .. pointing towards window  so kill me now u fools

 prince of darkness

 if the truth is real that is gassed out in my bedroom saws to cut my body  wood to seal the evidence and all the black magic (fear) to turn me into a delusional bastard 

 plans to make her fear

 the slow leaking death

 I guess if i am to believe in the occurrence of murder dreams im gonna die and be murdered solely its due to the witch trials.

 a man and yung girl holding a double bass seemed to be reading my thoughts or were sending me telepathic messages telling me what i have to do to survive. like my thoughts have power to destroy or peace? acid trip age 14 coming back to me. telepathic communication. i see them closing their eyes and praying their faces change as my thoughts do. two other people on train are also reaading my thoughts  like waiting to say, she doesnt get it or how long it will take with a sympathetic kind of smirk. tho seems serious in the sense if i dont understand this then i will be murdered?  tho is it all a scam for something more serious? or the cover ups that is child incest blue blooded that r destorying the earth but think its actually good thing to rape your daughter? either way i am travelling solo through this hell ridden tho will continue the fairy tale ...

HEART BROKEN 

 music is the drug

 STRANGE GIRLS NEVER BE AFRAID OF POWER

 LIVING BEYOND LOVE as MANIPULATION TACTIC 

 reading / writing books in a rotting house  //  THE DRAIN 

 am i crazy ? just lost an aspect of myself  naive to feel loved, be loved, to love? everyone seems to use love as a scam? i thought i try to understand love at least  the legs throwing the 196 over the fence fairy tales last forever 

 crazy dreams about being followed and murdered  witnessing girls murder men 

 without suffering  without growth  w m  pointing to the window

 death energy 

 hold my death in courage 

 1 2 3 4 i decalre a thumb war 

 never die  regardless of the gas threats  the king of poland, the nocturnal 

holding my own bones to sleep  

 old lady with dementia  .. fairy tale wind .. and the story which said u shudnt trust any1 that gives u too much for free. gives u too much and u dont give anything back u come back as stone or a devil ? the devils black out grey matter wish  and if u afraid, u r afraid for life but rather the story of  baba yaga  .. snake by suicide venom .. dream .. and u shud never trust someone who takes advantage of young girls

 4 got the piece of the story i was meant to write 

 empty  gas  wind

 and the lies in between 

 the slug  the leech  the moth 

 the unwillingness liklihood ill have demntia aka fear 

 fools live on in many ways  sex traffiked sex triked old man old man old man 

 reason why they say keep your enemies closer?

 dragonflys for the children - true self  - sense of self WE NEVER DIE

 moth

 dust minds mites  5000 trippled by the boar element  the storm before the calm  // 2003 the year of the moth  // bush big seance  how dare you try and kill someone who cares 

 the significance of being bitten by a giant snake )that lives in the ocean)  that i specifically jump off a tall pier into the ocean to be bitten by it as my suicide  whale passes me moments ago  and the dream is situated on the cliff edge coast where many of my dream locations take place. winding roads,cliff edges, ocean .. in real life having the memory of this guy saying "you need to wake up" as if to say, no u r not in a movie. 

 the old weird memory laws  of eye of the tiger scream of the fight rising up to the challanges of our rivals ect  then the other song that has a similar beat and is about going home like always being with yourself so no god or satan can ever manipulate u  .. trains and helicopters pass u only in hell sirens pass u only in hell

 little

 serious not  a sadist but will laugh from shame  unbearable to dig up a certain emotion/ memory experience and if u r a coward u die a coward. as the dude said passed twice in the distance  that the cuts the wounds the scars are a initation ? so your not a coward thats someone elses law .. the most joyful face u will ever see living for someone else

 remind myself how similar i am to ... 

 writing murder on the bathroom mirror steam"and wiping it off in your own reflection doubled by maybe the cane toad prince? reminding me of who i am inside outside? just the karmic trace that doesnt fear me  ever. "something in the way

 gotta remind myself to ask questions  like love is a game? if u cant get it  cuz u r self obsessed for being mute for most of your life so then u finally start speaking and its like a kind turbulont voices coming out sense of self to be heard  tho thats not quite how life works  to give by listening asking questions, make the other feel important attention  and not the elederly replaced log on the kitchen table/ let me die young ?

 theatre costume dress worn inside out  3 snakes crossing a rive the fairy tale lives on 

 acid trip memory is re coming back to me  first time i took lsd at confest when i was like 14 and was stuck in a kind of psychosis for several years trying to make sense of what it meant what it all meant  the true meaning and how everyone was trying to warn me about the secret of the world  the mirror dynanamic control  that i create it  power that is i am the god? i create it? maybe simple but in the acid trip, and now today everyone around me is telling me i dont belong here  i should kill myself  or they want to kill me because im destroying the earth  tho i do not feed into their scams some   true but yeah im not gonna kms unless its like a samauri moment sure  but even then  u cut down the tree u faggot. 

 yeah ! im a smart girl

 foolish losers

 no i dont have a gun

 come as u are

 hey i really like it when u finger me

i was a kid when i was a adult

 OLIVE - known as O

 my life is a fairy tale witth the enzyme prince (frog - toad)  kiss of ... story to be continued..

 there are simply no more excuses to blame

 the cane toad prince 

curse u with a stone replaced with a log  the baby is replaced with a log 

 "yes im a smart girl"

 neglected sense of self by all male figures in my life  starting from father to brother to boyfriends 

around this time last year when i was at the island and yeah camping and my note pad stolen in moldy back pack which i wrote down the exact details and memories . going into the state of mind of a certain person, a rapist and how it wouldd be like im going out to the bush to get away from my wife so i can jerk off in the bush and wait till my wife leaves the house and come back and rape my kids

and if they r telling me once again to end my life like when i was stuck in a psychotoic loop for several years the first time i took acid, is happening again? who is to say that is real? only on a diffirent certain level will u be able to hear the actual world around u things to fink about in the presence of (how trees grow, how a human grows, sunlight, all elements/ when attention is lost, carelessness is lost what happens then - how the world is destroyed? why r u a sadist and how can u wake up to the reality of violence in every small measure? am i part of the problem. shall i abandon? .. is it the sense of the bogan family that created it? or rather the great depression, seeping underneath that u do not exist in their eyes therefore? or used as the object of desire (molested) then seen as a use? which is still ongoing? and the use (the rape) is actually how i show u and teach you what love is ? .. USED BY VIOLENCE - VICTIM THREAD - WANTED LOVE ANY KIND OF LOVE ANY KIND OF LOVE AT ...

so the question is some believe incest truly is the right way of living? now i remmeber why i wanted to kill but also its a distraction for something else refer to the film snowtown to sound happy .. around this time last year when i was at the island and yeah camping and my note pad stolen in moldy back pack which i wrote down the exact details and memories . going into the state of mind of a certain person, a rapist and how it wouldd be like im going out to the bush to get away from my wife so i can jerk off in the bush and wait till my wife leaves the house and come back and rape my kids 1 comment Like Comment Share .. and if they r telling me once again to end my life like when i was stuck in a psychotoic loop for several years the first time i took acid, is happening again? who is to say that is real? ..

 when i forget their name  an act of selflessness  the will power of real value  and how you made it through the day that u cared for someone youself someone else. .. the karma that it works out when their is heaven and hell together  the dicotomy of filming the fridge and what its important to keep listening to the radio car crash and classical fm  hell ..

 now the time is all fucked up and manipulated  the real forign memory of incest  being molested  :fucking your sister" so i had someone to pratice on  what morning light brings in, what time does the sun come  up looking into the distance to find the actual time in bed wearing a ribbon straps that break in bed  who fucked your sister he raped his sister  then woke up in the morning and ate cereal or went into the wind and pretended to be born as a man then was killed for speaking about the forign incest incident that shouldnt be taken seriousy apparently they will get under your skin at shopping complexs and where the weather is humid and disgusting pavalova for breakfast and rotten leaking stomach for dessert. so i stopped writing anything worth while afraid of manifesting a curse and then because  ive lost my mind being absorbed by someone elses reverse psychology to have me lose all the highs  i was meant to have while being raped by...

 im a smart girl .. i dance make music and observe

 they are all young kids now ancestors from their families, parents who did the work what work that is i cant say for sure something about the church and black magic and yeah 

 rare sex and warm potato .. stay in your safety net who influences you around you  ... my own religion  swamp lore  of self .. replaced with a log shallow banter for the pupperters  reflective in water  story of the golden flower  .. greed is what will kill you and greed is what almost killed you  .. greed is what makes u ugly .. listen to what people say and REACT carefully .. less talk of self more of the moment ask questions as a surrounding commune conversation  .. friends sitting on the floor and dancing, dressing up, playing dress ups and dancing on the floor .. making music and doing makeup that looks like a budgie talking about rapist old men pedophiles in schools wearing mini skirts at the age of 11 for a school concert so pedophiles can watch with drooling gums and mouths .. sorry alex if u didnt care but wanted me to do my own personal research on suffering and core  .. the spectrums of schitsophrenia and the spectrums of ped...

so  u said  "i didnt get to practise on my sister" then he killed her who gave you dogy pills and made u have schitsophrenia  who threw eggs on the street to hookers "i didnt get to practice on my sister" 

monsters or ghosts? too far to question the veils? seeing everything had the thought maybe the children that r like the "toruble Makers" or rather misunderstood by corward, carless lazy NO ADULTS ALLOWED " , i pray for the lone wolf baby that is eternal wisdom for all and if u cant see it, not in this lifetime

 babrbie girl  take me everywheree its fantastic  being plastic  soft voices 

 magic tricks  when the entire world is a mirror. it is shiny.  when u see the world exactly as a mirror. thats a kind of magic trick when the voices change, the face changes, that is a kind of magic trick  . the secret notes. born on halloween/ writing again  star wars  distractions and hand gestures and phones and spys old white creepy scaly tickling hands that creep out and burn you with their grey blue eyes pedophiles surrounding the wise. 

 dont ever get sick  3 phones stolen maybe  force fed  sexual machines  and raped into loop holes  in the phones and hacks  how did u learn to feel sorry for others  so u made your self an empty psychological experiment to others  reverse you and rape you the faeries  the distractions  and the little people who live on top of the mountian  when it snows  its silence is everything silence means evereything to me  they told u about aliens the golden pyramid  the safety   even said i love you