they tried to tell me i had holes in my psyche. my unconsious was fractured i had bad blood in my dna. which is likely true if somewhere down the line i had up turned psychopathic eyes. it never become more real than to actually see face to face a clear image of a pedophile. in the suburbia where kids who do church shit are invited into the house to have a spa bath with a big old man. the mans big gut. the mans big stomach and a small child underneath it. no one wants to read pedophile music. no wants to hear the truth. do they ? its so warm up there the entire city is on these motorbikes. its burning hot. theres a bridge and a hill and grass and in a neighbours front garden. the dress is made out of bird sheets. i can sleep im exhausted and have the dreams of being followed. i can sleep even tho im scared because i can sleep cuz im so afraid i can easily shut down my brain. its saving me. they saved me.