my sense of self is lost in being struct down by a kind of refusal to enjoy my body like i must suffer and make everything harder tho i still try. the plans around me to wake me up getting stronger then i black and am thinking about curses which are my karma when i dont make the choice to get out of hell. 
writing a song about only god knows 
sending a drum beat and being selfish in a way that is present. creating pain for myself being a statue. being honest about being selfless 

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